Step-parenting can be a messy job….can I get an Amen?! A unified front, a cohesive unit, a fortified wall is what it takes to parent a house full of yours, mine, and ours!!
Co-parenting a blended family can be such a challenge but when done well can be a beautiful, amazing experience. So much of how we deal with life starts with how we approach it from the beginning don’t you think? So start with a change in the way you choose to see your life – not as a problem, not as something negative, but as an opportunity! There’s so much more at the table..literally, and what fun that can be! Different personalities and ages can be the spice of life and bring life, if you welcome it!
There is a right way to step parent and a wrong way and unfortunately some of you may find yourself on the painfully wrong way but don’t be disheartened – take a step back, regroup and start anew!
After you and your spouse have a heart-to-heart about the ways you are parenting, what’s working and not working and doing your research on how to do it better (check out this website –www.smartstepfamilies.com). Your first step may be to sit all those kids down and simply repent for doing it wrong before you can start doing it right! Listen to your kids’ hearts on the matter and then start laying down some new ground rules for how your family will function and learn to live together.
Marc and I are a blended family – it was mine and then, eventually, ours but now after 13 years they are all ours! We have worked very hard to blend our family – Marc loving my children as his own and stepping into his role as their father. My kids – all of them – don’t experience him as a step parent, he is their “Pappy” and they love him like a Dad! It has taken us some time to learn the steps to this blending dance and has taken patience for Marc to earn their trust and love to become the Dad they respect, but it has all been worth it!
My oldest daughter, Kamaryn, was nominated for Homecoming Queen her junior and senior years in high school and both times she asked Marc to walk her the night of Homecoming court presentation, not because she had to or felt guilted into it, it was totally her decision. That is who she wanted by her side to present her as his daughter! What an honor for both of us (Marc and I) to share in!
So holdfast and keep working, it is worth it!! And it is so doable!! Just be patient, unconditional and understanding as you strive to blend all your hearts into the one thing we call a family!