I am leaking,…my oldest daughter got married a week ago already! The wedding was lovely, simply lovely but it all went by so fast. So many hours of preparing, of shopping, of looking for those perfect shoes, of making paper flowers, of planning, of reserving, of deciding on all the little details that would make her day special…so many hours and in just a few short hours, FOUR to be exact, it was over. She got married on May 21, 2016 and May 22, 2016 was a really hard day. Found myself lost with hands idle, looking for something to hot glue and craft. A car full of the leftovers and no bridesmaids to unload and put it all back in order, Sunday was hard!
My heart is heavy and I am not even sure why. I love her new husband, he is precious and perfect for her. I trust him with her heart! I thought I was prepared…but I guess you just never know how your heart will react when you to come the edge of new emotion. I haven’t felt this before, not like this anyway. My two oldest children have moved out of my nest for several years now, so I wasn’t expecting my nest to feel so empty. It’s a weird feeling, this emptiness. I rationalize…I haven’t lost anything, I have more than gained, so why do I feel such loss?
To leave and cleave…it is God’s beautiful way to make a new a family but I didn’t know I
would feel it so violently within me! She left for her honeymoon at 10pm and something within me broke…her tie to me, the way things have been for 22 years changed in that sweet, single moment as she drove away with him in his care, no longer in mine!
She moves tomorrow to Houston and my heart…oh my heart, it aches at the thought of no more Friday morning coffee, her not being at piano recitals and birthday parties in the middle of the week, not seeing her at Monday morning business meetings… but it is all as it should be. As cliché as it is — life goes on and it will be beautiful and my heart is overwhelmed for the adventure, excitement, and joys that are all hers to have!
To leave and cleave – we get to learn a new dance – her and I. So I choose to turn into this hard, wonderful moment and for today, I leak and embrace all that this is- rich with memory. Tears stream as I remember her little face the day she was born. So amazed that God trusted me with her heart. I close my eyes and see her 22 years old, her big, beautiful browns smiling at me, and I am so privileged to have been trusted to hold her heart until we (her and I) found someone trustworthy enough to hold it the rest of her life!
