Crumbs from my Kitchen Table

The heart is the all-important organ in your body, you can live without a hand, an eye, a breast, even a kidney or lung but you can not live without your heart! The heart is the center of life, it tells me, on some level, everything I need to know about the rest of me. The condition of my heart impacts everything else about me and not just on the physical level, this is a spiritual principle as well. Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Or another translation says, “…for from it flows the issues of life.”

The heart!

The source of my existence, my wellbeing, my very life.

When postured and surrendered it can be such a blessing but when held in the embrace of selfishness, bitterness, rejection, hatred, fear, judgement it is most definitely compromised. I wanted to write “a curse” – the opposite of a blessing – but paused because I don’t believe that! I do believe it can become a curse if left unchecked and undealt with but the human heart is a messy thing.

Luke 17:1 Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come.”

Psalm 142:6 “Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low! Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me!”

Psalm 58:6-8 “Break off their fangs, O God! Smash the jaws of these lions, O Lord! May they disappear like water into thirsty ground. Make their weapons useless in their hands. May they be like snails that dissolve into slime, like a stillborn child who will never see the sun.”

Ruth 1:20 “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.”

God’s Word is full of the honest of accounts of men and women offended, bitter, and angry at the injustice and cruelty of others. The ugliness of hearts on display – God doesn’t hide this condition of the men and women known to love and chase after Him. He is faithful to give clear examples of the how this world can affect us, change us, soil us, challenge us.

Hearts broken by the choices and selfishness of others,

hearts despairing from the corruption of a fallen world,

hearts damaged by rejection and thoughtless words,

hearts hardened to protect and guard from suffering,

hearts burning with vengeance at the injustice displayed.

The heart is a messy thing!

And God is not afraid of the mess.

With hands opened, He invites you to bring your messed up heart to Him.

He is the greatest of heart surgeons and knows the precise tools to use to piece it back together, He knows just what needs to be cut out and replaced, He knows exactly how to wash it and bind it for the healing that is needed.

And like any good doctor, He knows it all takes time. Healing takes time!

And He is ever patient to sit by your hospital bed as your heart is on the mend, adjusting the “meds” you need to process through the pain, offering advice to encourage and bring hope for full recovery, stepping in when needed to prescribe new orders and procedures to keep healing on track.

He is ever faithful to predict the needs of your reconciling heart.

Ezekiel 36:26 “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.”

A new heart! Yes, that’s what I need, a new heart! One filled with promise and forgiveness and grace and acceptance and mercy and patience and joy and all good things of God.

A heart surrendered.

It does a body good.

Listening to some messages online lately that inspire and encourage, that normalize and remind me that hard work is necessary for the “more”of God. I am reminded of a story I heard lately about a donkey who’s owner wanted to get rid of him but couldn’t bring himself to shoot him so he threw him into a deep well where he hoped the donkey would die out of his sight so that he would not have to feel guilty. So there that donkey was in the bottom of this deep, dark well, alone and forgotten. Each day the owner would dump piles of trash into the well in an effort to cover the donkey’s, what he thought, dead body. The trash poured violently on the donkey hurt when it hit him, slapping him in the face, pouring onto his back, ricocheting on his legs, but each day the donkey would shake it off, pound it under his feet and rise a little higher in the well. Over and over this happened, trash poured in, the donkey shook it off, trampled it underfoot, and stood a little higher and a little higher and a little higher until one day he walked right out of that well.

I like that story. As I ponder things in my heart these days, I find myself evaluating the circles I surround myself with and ask myself hard questions about “why?” and “for what purpose?” and “what are my expectations?” and “what needs to change in me?”

One question I heard the Lord whisper as I was applying mascara this morning is, “Do you add value?” That’s a really good question.

Sometimes we are in relationships for all the wrong reasons. It made me pause and really consider -“Do I add value to that person?” It’s not a question so much about me as it is about them. Do I think that friendship offered adds value to another person’s life? I believe in most cases, “yes” but in some I can honestly say, “no” I really don’t think I do because in some relationships I am not valued.

You can not add value to a place that you are not valued.

So why do we continue to offer when there’s no value in the offer? For me it’s because I want to feel included, I want to belong, I want to prove I am worthy and valuable and deserving. So I offer and offer and typically leave feeling more excluded and invaluable, not because anyone expressly demonstrates that – it is no one’s fault – it’s just the nature of things – it is how it works!

When we look to people in an effort to meet a God need we walk away feeling empty.

We bump into each other – all with needs to be met: love, peace, safety, nurture, belonging, purpose, significance, community, worth, security.., searching, searching to fill the holes in our souls.

We offer… some invite, open, and welcome – it feels good.

We offer… some block, protect, and reject – it doesn’t feel so good.

It’s not about you – not really – it’s about them, where they are, what they need.

Maybe they are not ready for you have to offer.

So I am pondering my relationships and asking this question, “Do I add value?” “Is what I offer what that friend needs or wants?” I can not add value to a place that I am not valued.

So I must let go…and just like the donkey in the bottom of the well, I shake it off, put it underfoot and step a little higher. There are plenty of places I am valued, those are the places I must set my heart!

I was talking with a friend who is in a tough situation right now, living with her in-laws indefinitely is just one of the many challenges that confronts her these days. She has not been able to hear, feel, or experience God lately which has also made this season feel a bit unbearable! After months of nothing she finally heard Him whisper, “I am pruning you.” She elaborates, “Nearly every single branch cut back so I can produce new and better fruit. Growing my branches back is sssoooo slow but it’s happening.”

Ah, yes pruning…that’s what this is! I knew it was something painful. I thought I was in the refiner’s fire but nope, I, like my friend, am being pruned. The sharp edge of the Master Gardener cutting away heavy branches that have in the past produced abundant fruit. Branches trimmed and yielded to His bend with the promise of something better, something more! Attentive to each, He cradles and cares for each piece cut away. I hear Him whisper to each broken limb before discarding, “Well done, well done.”