Heart aches with the heaviness of pieces of story…other people’s stories. Why am I privy to such things? Why do I know these bit and pieces? It does not serve my heart well. It’s disappointing. I ask God in the early hours of the morning, “Why? Why do you let me know?” The silence hangs between us.
Discouraged in the bottom of this pit I look about me, all is dark. Head heavy, pulled forward by gravity, forcing eyes down. Feet stand bare on the cold ground beneath,
I am alone, I feel stuck.
He is good, I remind myself of this, He is good.
And I believe that with every fiber of my being -I believe- so there must be a reason.
All things pass through His hands and into our ordained-step days, He knows I must know these pieces, I am just not sure why?
But history with Him is clear – He rarely answers the “why” questions. I am pretty sure my mind could not comprehend if He offered to share anyway. Isaiah 55:9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Eyes searching for answers, I look up and from the bottom of this pit to find this view above.
The dawn of a new day, full of promise and new mercies.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
I lift my eyes and trust in His plan and the deep work He is doing in my heart.