Some of my most favorite times with Jesus are the times when He just sits with me. In all my stuff, He draws close.
I was talking with a friend on the phone last week and she said this, “He (meaning God) is so healthy! I told Him I’m mad at Him and asked why He abandoned me and He just let me. He didn’t pick any of it up but stayed with me in it!”
I love that we have a God who will just stay with us! He is so healthy!
He does not react to all our misguided, misdirected, misunderstood, misplaced emotions – He lets us have them. Throw our words carelessly at Him, shake our fists, stomp our feet in frustration, blame Him for our problems, accuse Him of unspeakable things and in it all He draws near. He sends His Comforter to console our aching, breaking hearts and sit with us through the outbursts.
One of my favorite memories: I was leading a small group of women through a book study and had designed an experiential to deal with some of the pain and contempt that was coming up as we processed through past hurts. The exercise was simple – Imagine a clothesline in an empty space behind a house. Visualize a white sheet hanging on the line blowing gently in the wind. See yourself standing before this pure, white, clean, crisp sheet. Let the emotions rise – all the rage, the disappointment, the contempt, the sadness – let it rise up within and unleash it onto this sheet. The women had permission to rip it to shreds, to pull it off the line and destory it, soil it however they chose. Imagining all the emotions within coming out of them hurled onto the sheet.
After a time of pouring and releasing I then encouraged the women to invite Jesus and He was always so perfect in how He responded to the scene, each so intimate and specific to the heart of each woman.
One saw Him pick up the sheet covered in dark stains and snap it in the wind transforming it into a clean, crisp white picnic blanket that He spread on the ground for Him and her to have a picnic together.
Another saw Him fashion the sheet into a kite and released it into the wind. They watched it soar high above, Jesus holding the line. She felt freedom as she witnessed the kite dancing above.
This is what I saw – I shredded the sheet into tiny pieces and they were piled high into a small mound before me. I saw myself broken and kneeling facing this mound of pain. I imagined Jesus coming and picking them up, throwing them into the wind and watching them blow away. I imagined Him piecing them back together, making it new. I imagined Him doing lots of things with the pieces before me, but as usual He surprised me. Jesus came and simply knelt beside me in my pain. I would have never imagined that. I thought He would DO something, but instead in that moment, He chose to simply BE with HIm.
sit with it,
feel its impact,
remember its damage,
and know that there is no thing that can seperate us and no place He isn’t with us!
He simply knelt beside me in silence and it was the most beautiful gesture of understanding and validation. He was with me in my pain.
Invite Him to be with you in your pain, in your rage, in your disappointment, in your grief. He has really big shoulders, He can handle anything you want to throw at Him.
He is so healthy!
He will not pick it up!
And when you are ready He will do whatever it is your heart needs to move on, but until then…He will sit with you!