I shocked my husband this past weekend, shoot, I shocked myself to be quite honest. We had an opportunity this past weekend, thanks to several wonderful people who stepped in and helped us with our girls, to escape for 3 full days. I found this beautiful bed and breakfast “off the map” tucked away on five acres of secluded, beautiful, wildlife sprinkled sanctuary in Abita Springs, LA and we escaped! It was so good and so needed!
It takes awhile to settle in, to let the peace and nothingness of a space like that invade you. A small two story cabin tucked into the woods, huge porch swing, gravel paths, a golf cart to drive around the property and a “private” pool completed the scene. A little corner of heaven tucked away right there in Abita Springs, who knew?!
We decided to go check out the pool the second evening we were there, a small hot tub that wasn’t so hot, a rock waterfall, the sun falling behind the trees that surrounded us in the middle of this forest. All alone, I felt brave! So I did it, I took off my bathing suit! He was shocked, you see I am not that girl! I am modest, I cover up, I barely even wear a bathing suit in front of him in public. I am a shorts and tank top sort of pool sporter, I do NOT get naked in public!
I am not sure what came over me but I felt daring and every now and again I like to shock him, heehee, it keeps him guessing and off balance in a good way!
Our relationships can become so predictable! So boring! The same old, same old! Sex in this position, with the lights off, with lots of rules that govern our hands and mouths and eyes! Romance looks like this and not that. Offering each other love the way we want it instead of the way the other needs it. Routines and ruts that bore us to tears and keep us stuck in boring relationships.
This pool scene is such a picture of the course my life is on right now – not that any of you will EVER see me physically naked, that I can promise you, I am not that brave, but living naked in so many other ways. I see myself stripping off my proverbial bathing suit as I begin to share the intimate parts of my life with you through this blog, in my classes, in my friendships.
I don’t feel like I have been hiding, if you know me and follow me at all, I am a pretty “put it out there” kind of girl – REAL is my motto because this world needs us to show up, masks off and bear ourselves so that others can heal and get free. Your story, in its unadulterated version, frees others to be ok in their own skin, in their own story. When we hear other peoples’ stories, the messes they were and see where they have come from and are now, a big sigh of relief is released as someone stops holding their breath, “Oh, ok, I’m ok, it’s going to be ok!”
We give others permission to be a mess in the middle!
But this new found “naked” freedom is really about an invitation into the quieter thoughts, the deeper things, the hidden and more private parts. I am pretty sure that a year ago I would never have taken off that bathing suit and if I had, you would never have known about it. It’s stretching to put this out there – some of you imagining the scene, me naked, oh my goodness, stop it, please just don’t – but we can’t help it, our minds go places and that’s uncomfortable to me.
I like to be seen in a “good” light and I like to control what you see about me and how you see me.
But the truth is, that is not my business and I must stop letting what I think you might think control me!
It has stunted my growth for far too long!
To be daring feels dangerous and makes me want to hold my breath!
Can I really push publish at the end of this?
Can I really put this out into the world?
Can I allow people to see and know and think whatever the hell they want?
Do I dare?
I DO DARE!
It’s where I am, where I am going!
Learning to be no matter what you think about it! Moving into some of what is coming is going to shock some of you, it’s going to challenge some of you, it’s going to embarrass and make the blood rise into your face as you read and hear some of what I might say. It’s going to possibly make some of you stop following, stop reading…I hope not but you might! It’s going to make some of you stand up and cheer, “Finally! It’s about time!” (you know who you are). It’s going to move some of you into your own “it’s about time” freedom. It’s going to dare you! And at the end of it all – you may be skinny dipping too! Who knows?!
Let’s stop putting rules around what it’s all supposed to look like.
Let’s start breaking down the walls we have built to keep us.
Let’s step out of the boxes we have boxed ourselves into.
It doesn’t matter what other people think, I will be telling myself that alot this season,
It doesn’t matter!
I am good with my God. He is delighted and pleased with me. He is directing my path. He created me naked and unashamed. He gave me a husband to enjoy and a body to share. He says, “Sex is a good!” It was all His idea. He invites each of us into this freedom. The only thing that matters is what He thinks. He calls me to be daring! And to free others to be daring!
So here’s a challenge –
I dare you to do the next uncomfortable thing that will begin to free you on your own
“naked and unashamed” journey.
One small baby step,
I dare you!
And I would love to hear about it
IF YOU DARE!!!